More restrictions for motorists.

national | rights, freedoms and repression | opinion/analysis Friday November 18, 2005 18:02 by John McDermott - removefiannafail Spain

Martin Cullen strikes again.

New Draconian road rules may hoist Martin on his own Petard (if he ever loses his personal chauffeur)!

Wee Martin, up to his tricks again.

Cullen rolls out yet more road rules.
Today a number of new amendments specifically targeting errant "Soldiers of Destiny" like Martin Cullen, have been added to the current Fianna Fail list of 69 odd driving offences,listed on the new Road Traffic Bill-all of which attract penalty points,should the computerized system which compiles such records ever swing into action. Mr Ahern, has announced that ministers who violate them will then be punished. A severe "rap on the knuckles" awaits wrongdoers," nobody is above the law, in Fianna Fail" said Bertie.

NEW TRAFFIC LAWS TARGET MARTIN CULLEN; (Subject to "rolling out" the new computers!)

(1)Violation; Lighting up another cigarette, while your vehicle is in motion.
(Offence; Observed driving with one hand on the steering wheel )

(2)Violation; Dropping the hand while a beautiful P.R. consultant is in the front passenger seat.
(Offence; observed,with one hand in an inappropriate place, and not in full control of a moving vehicle)

(3)Violation; Passing out, on the M 50, and other arterial routes near Dublin.
(Offence;observed falling asleep,in a semi- paralized,or comatose state, after sitting for hours in traffic jams)

(4)Violation; Farting ,while belching carcinogenic fumes
(Offence; polluting the vehicle interior with stale tobacco smoke,and other noxious gases.Windbagging the media,with lots of hot air,on a daily basis.

(5)Violation; Unsafe sex,with a P.R. consultant, in the rear seat of a government vehicle while stalled in a traffic jam.
(Offence; Effecting an inappropriate cockup, in a public place )

(6)Violation; Overloading vehicles,including Ministerial Mercedes.
(Offence;Transporting excess E-voting junk,computers,etc. to the dump, without a waste disposal permit)

(7)Violation; Refusing to stop, when requested to do so.
(Offence; Going too far with Monica. Wasting a fortune in taxpayers money.

(8) Violation;Writing on cigarette packets while stopped at traffic lights
(Offence;Costing the new infrastructure and transport plan, in an inappropriate place)

(9)Violation; Daydreaming while in charge of a vehicle.
Offence;Driving erratically,while scheming to railroad the electorate with fantastic tales of interconnecting trains, tunnels,Metros, motorways,etc-and whatever your having yourself.!

(10)Violation;Dangerous driving, in a contrary manner,and direction, on a dual carriageway,while pissed drunk.!
Offence; Driving outside the Republic of Donegal without a certificate of sobriety.

(11)Violation; Seriously injuring pedestrians while blind drunk,and in charge of a murder machine.
Offence; Wright hypocrisy,(by Fianna Fail T.D/ publicans in Dail Eireann)

FINALLY A NEW LAW TO BRING ERRANT GARDAI INTO LINE.

(12)Violation; Carrying out a random breathalyser test,on any dazed looking motorist as his vehicle departs the car park, outside a packed public house.
Offence; Unwarranted interference with the profitability of the Licenced Vintners trade.Punishment; instant dismissal from the Force.!