Stop Violence Against Women

by C Murray Fri Nov 24, 2006 19:26

"Then lift your head, and look around, you are being encircled by good
forthright people who are searching the stench of your work"

This was adressed by someone to an article on globalisation which I wrote
in the last two weeks. It was barely related to the article and abusive to a woman
who had queried the MO of the group who had appended. it highlights a violence
in language that is unacceptable. People are entitled to an opinion but if the
opinion is so divergent it may be better to write a different article and make the point
without personal attack.

The article :

These Our Islands; Female Sexual Oppression in the Context of Globalisation.

The issue of diversity of opinion should not be bogged down in the language of fear
and loathing. The people who use the site should be aware that there is room for a
diversity of opinion on issues relating to private morality and public policy.

by catherine sara Fri Nov 24, 2006 21:11

There is so much talk of violence against women but very little is being done.The old patriarchial system is still in control where women are treated as possessions.If we take the example of divorce Irish style..the woman is never free of her husband financially unless she marries another man..so therefore she is stuck in the ownership system.
In family law courts many women are still advised by probation officers and social workers to go home and obey like a good girl as this is a catholic country."This is true and I am a witness to it.
As regards access the abuser almost always gets access to children and often the abused woman will be told"see, I told you, you cannot escape."This happens when the Judge insists that the woman supervise the access herself. Considering she now wishes to be as far away as possible..now it is impossible.When children refuse access, the mother is told to drag them by the hair if necessary in order to comply.otherwise she ends up in jail. Then there are those untouchable social workers who threaten to give your children Electric Shock Treatment to make them see their violent father...as he has rights..you know.....Again I am the living proof.
After access visits the children carry all the negative violent energy home to pollute their home. The woman and the children do not understand as the children are suddenly violent towards the mother.It takes three days to clear this negative energy.By which time it is time for another visit and the cycle goes round and round, leaving many women wondering why did they bother at all. As long as the children are exposed to this negative violent energy it is carried on to the next generation of abusers.
I had the choice to use my home at night only or go homeless.I chose homeless and I do not regret it.As a family we are now 12 years violence free.To achieve it we left everyone we knew behind.Family were not supportive because of the Catholic church teaching and the disgrace to the family name.
The ladies in the refuge were harrassed when I told what happened, so I felt guilty for them and all their good work.
As mothers we need to make sure that our children have respect for each other. Girls must see the evidence that they are equal to boys. However girls should be taught that being a woman is not the same as being a man. Each complements the other rather than control each other. This is difficult as our children see the country's leaders as controllers. The church has controlled for generations and of course girls see that only boys are allowed to be priests and so called represent God.This is confusing for them.By condoning this society is allowing Rome to rule our lives and class our daughters as second class citizens of the world.
Perhaps if women learned that it is no longer necessary to give till they drop but instead receive graciously and men learned to give properly a lot of the violence would end.However the patriarchial system has conditioned men to conquer women and this needs to change first.

by C Murray Fri Nov 24, 2006 22:21

http://www.ireland16days.blogspot.com

http://wwww.ireland16days.blogspot.com/2006/11/16-shelt....html

There is a washing line project a t ringsend libraryon December the fourth.

check out the link on the above site. its called Ringsend Action Project Clothes Line Campaign.

by republicafw Sat Nov 25, 2006 00:51

Let's transform the use of ICTs to end up with the violence against womyb.
This campaign is necessary to concret the contribution of women to the development of the ICTs and spaces and rights to define, use and conform the use of the ICTs in a free and safe way,
This campaign tries to provoque an open debate about how ICTs connect with violence against women, give simple strategies to minimaze it and create a comunity that will keep working on strategies to end up with the violence against women in the digital spaces.
Here you can find information, tactics and solutions to face violence against women in internet, to debate and share, to document cases and resources on that, and a lot more...

by C Murray Fri Dec 22, 2006 13:04

Unfortunately at Christmas violence against women rises and a lot of women
will 'make it through' the season for the sake of their kids- however soon
after the few days the refuges , which are not adequately funded, start
getting calls for help.

Happy Christmas.

The contacts are:- http://www.womensaid.ie

the contact freephone is:- 1800-341 900

by ronnie Fri Dec 22, 2006 14:19

Please dont forget also all those abused husbands at this time of year as well. The suffering that many men have to endure at the hands of their partners is less well publicised but equally vicious and heartbreaking to those on the recieving end of it.

We must ensure full support for ALL victims of domestic violence, men and women.

by C Murray Fri Dec 22, 2006 14:35

I think that the primacy of the family and the isolation it creates from the
community contributes to a lot of suffering and a lot of pressure. Thats
what the anti-patriarchy movements are about- highlighting inequality
for both sexes- in this instance I was speaking as a feminist with refuge helpline numbers.

The structures which mitigate against equality in partnership are sustained by both
the capitalist sytem and the churche's view of women as helpmeet, when we
take on the issues of inequality in our society and those within those structures we may achieve
some peace for the next generation- or we can go on perpetuating them by refusing to
recognise that violence does happen and a lot of it happens around the christmas season.

apologies therefore if any offence caused.

(also maybe an 'anti-patriarchy' category would be helpful)

by ronnie Fri Dec 22, 2006 14:46

No problem. I wasnt offended or being critical. Just wanted to highlight this as many people dont realise the extent of such abuse against men or in many cases they downplay it and it laughed off. Even the authorities do not take it as serious as they should and I know of many cases of men being laughed at in Garda Barracks when they attempted to report assaults by their partners on them.

Ther is still a culture out there that it is ok to hit your husband or male partner or even if it is not ok that it is not a cime or anythiing that serious. It is an attitude that needs to be changed. My next door neighbour is 17, she is a lovely bright young girl who babysits for us and I have great time for her. But I was horrified recently when she was telling my husband and i about argument she had with her boyfriend and how she hit him a punch in the face leaving a huge bruise and cut along his face. She thought he deserved it and that there was nothing wrong with it whatsoever. Even when we asked her how she would feel if he had done the same to her, she said that would be different, as fellas should not hit girls but it was ok for girls to hit fellas and he would get over it. And this is coming from a bright young girl.

That attitude carries on into adulthood and that is the sort of thinking that needs to be changed - people, young people inparticular need to realise that there never is justifcation for violence against their partner, whether man or woman. They should never strike their partner.

by Catherine Sat Dec 23, 2006 22:08 universalchild27 at hotmail dot co dot uk

For many moons now I was wondering why there was no real FEEL to ending Domestic violence and then this morning after 12 years of homelessness to discover the truth.
There I was thinking that when I went to womens aid that my problems would end.
Oh nooooo, that dear people is where they begin.Abused men or women makes no difference.The system feels that if you come forward then you are getting STRONG and Getting out of your box" You see ..you must know your place in this society of ours.
Violence destroys people and makes them violent too and depress ed and in the end they break down and stop fighting like good little children. You must obey and behave.
So, when the social worker says they care..you know it is a lie. For they are going to break you down more than your violent partner. Believe me they use the same psychological and emotional abuse as he/she did.No, no physical as that would leave a physical scar and the judge would not be amused.
You will of course be sent for assessments and get the same treatment over and over till you break, then they may say...you are unable to look after your children so they steal them and give them to foster parents who make lots of MONEY from them.Children are worth money. So if you try to protect your children and the judge always give access to the violent one ..dont ask why anymore...the answer is they want you and your children to be violated by violence to keep you from being FREE.
If you try to stop the violent partner having access to the children you will either go to prison to teach you YOUR PLACE.or the violent partner takes them home and gets custody.
Now what kind of society does that.??????OUR SOCIETY.
Why???? because when you come forward and say no more violence, you are saying you want peace. Peace does not make money for rich people.The system wants your children to be exposed to violence to DE-HUMANISE them like they do in training social workers.They have brought the British system here now to teach their methods . But Baby Ann has put a halt to their plans for now. So if you have a partner and are not married your child will do just fine. There was a time when young unmarried girls provided all the children they needed but now we women are keeping them and that is upsetting things a bit.
Another way is that you will get little money or none in my case and then social worker will say you are neglecting them and off they go too.
Or in my case as there was nothing wrong, except I wanted my children safe from guns I was made homeless by social services in order to conform and go home and obey. How many of you have been told by lawyers to drag those children by the hair if necessary for access or the judge will throw the book at you??? I thought so.
You see the lawyers are only interested in the money and boy is their money for old rope here.They call our cases bread and butter cases and drag them out. You will notice that they do not fight in court.No they make deals outside so rarely does the judge hear the case at all.The social worker will perjure him/herself without as much as a blink. And if like me you prove their perjury....their lawyer is on hand to save their bacon too.
The social worker will remind you "THEY HAVE THE POWER"
So dear readers this is just a way of making sure the money keeps rolling in for the old boys.
But there was once a warrior group of men and women 5,000 years ago.These people fought for what was right and just and equal.
Ignore the HYPE of pitting women against men. that is called divide and conquer.
No ,this is violence V peace and we must each decide what we wish the children that WE created to experience.!!!!!!!!!!

by C Murray Wed May 16, 2007 21:25

Breaking news in the Irish times says that an alliance of organisations including

Amnesty- Women's Aid- Ruhama- DRCC- RCN- have questioned the remit of the
Department of Justice funded Violence Against Women organisation.

They have called for it to be stopped questioning its remit.

Cosc was founded by The Dept of Justice under the leadership of Michael Mc
Dowell in the immeadiate run-up to the general election.

An urgent meeting of the national steering committee on Violence against Women
was called and proposed postponement of COSC.

[you may remember the pictures which showed three male TD's and Mary Coughlan
at the launch of the strategy]

http://www.ireland.com

http://www.womensaid.ie
http://www.drcc.ie

There is a need for legislation created to deal with issues of violence or of immigration
or of abortion to consult with the NGO's and the expert groups- this is an incredibly
serious situation which again shows a complete lack of awareness of the input
and expertise of these diverse groups.