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EXCLUSIVE!! Sneak Preview of 'The Bushes in England' Photo Spread! (satire)
 international |
miscellaneous |
opinion/analysis
 Sunday November 23, 2003 14:16 by Cheryl Seal
Don't let anyone tell you that those quaint olde English villages and villagers in Bush photo ops were anything but ABSOLUTELY AUTHENTIC!! CHERYL SEAL EXCLUSIVE!! Sneak Preview of Time Magazine 'The Bushes in England' Photo Album!!
Thanks to the efforts of the tireless Bush and Blair PR teams, countless photo ops were arranged along the Bush tour route! White house spokespeople say rumors of "Potemkin Villages" were completely false and that all scenarios and well-wishers encountered by Bush were absolutely authentic. Cheryl Seal has managed to obtain a sneak preview of "Time's" upcoming special commemorative issue: "The Bushes in England Photo Album!"
Bush and Blair vehicles move through outskirts of London, side by side
http://www-personal.umich.edu/~scaballe/images/tanks.jpg
Members of a local cricket team waved warmly as Bush's motorcade passed
http://www.litep.exquilia.com/mannequins.jpg
In a hamlet somewhere north of London, Bush stopped to chat with a friendly villager at his quaint tudor home.http://www.cottonwoodcupboard.com/images/Hedgerow_Dovecote.jpg
Outside the pub in the village of Sedgefield, "typical British villagers" assembled to greet Bush
http://www.nih.gov/news/NIH-Record/01_14_97/images/sculpt2.jpg
" Dear Mr. Bush," said this charming older Cockney woman "We 'ere in Merry Owld England are so 'appy to 'ave yer visit! God bless ye!"
http://www.icollectorbazaar.com/colljpg/ms_516d.jpg
The Palace said its security was in fact excellent and that the Queen had a double who was undetectable from the real thing
http://www.kevinfrancis.co.uk/Images/Toby%20Jugs/Images/Queen%20Elizabeth%20II.jpg
Knowing Bush's love of sports,, the local soccer and swim teams vied for the president's attention
http://www.zingdisplay.com/pict/mannequin.jpg
In London, Bush stopped to chat with a typical urban black family
http://www.inrets.fr/ur/lbmc/Images/moyens1.gif
Then he stopped by a fire station and witnessed an emergency preparedness drill
http://www.legeros.com/toys/gallery/xmas-village-figures2.jpg
The Bushes found themselves quite at home at Buckingham Palace, and discovered the Queen was more like them than they ever suspected!
http://www.celebrity-pics.net/dp/files/1-9.jpg
On a village green in one village, protestors moved a bit too close to the Bush motorcade and were given a brisk warning by security personnel
http://www.screensavershot.com/automation/tanks.jpg
Blair reports that he received just "the odd one or two" notes protesting the Bush visit
http://news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story2&u=/031118/photos_pl/mdf408888&e=10&ncid=27
At the airport, after being told of the Massachusetts ruling on gay marriage, Bush cracks an unfortunate joke about "closet homos"
http://news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story2&u=/031118/photos_pl/mdf409994&e=15&ncid=27
EXCLUSIVE EXTRA!!!!
Excerpt from the diary of Laura Bush, obtained by Deep Throat II see the night of the Bush's return to the US. (For more about Deep Throat II, see http://baltimore.indymedia.org/feature/display/5475/index.php)
November 21
Dear Diary,
"We met the Queen. She was very nice. The queen has a dog. I have a dog. We both like dogs. George asked her what she carried in her ugly handbag. She showed us. It is a stuffed monkey named Curious George. She says that is why she likes the president so much, because he reminds her of Curious George, who is her very special friend.
"People say there were many protestors. But I did not see them. I saw many smiling people, though. Maybe as many as 200! They say there was some security thing happening at Windsor Palace, but I didn't read about it. The president did not read about it either. We do not read the newspapers. But we have many nice people at the White House who tell us everything we need to know.
"George spoke to many people who smiled and nodded and clapped for him. He did not go to Parleemint to speak afterall because there were many mean people there who wanted to ask him questions that were not on our 'special list.'
"I do not like Prince Charles very much. Everytime he thought George was not looking he made a face and pretended he was gagging. I do not like the Queen's husband either. He has a very strange sense of humor. He kept laughing and smirking when George talked, even when George was not trying to be funny.
"We were very angry to hear about the bombing in Turkey. Afterall, they could have waited until after our trip. I had to cancel my visit to Harrods.
"Tony Blair is such a good friend to George. George says Tony will always be his friend because he knows a few little things about him that would make it very hard for Tony not to be his friend, whatever that means. Tony told me that if he were not prime minister, he wanted to be a cowboy or a spy with MI5, although being a fireman would be nice too. I don't he likes himself very much. I feel sorry for him.
"I liked being in a palace. I hope George wins the next election. He says if he does, he plans to become the first King of the United States. That would be fun. I am not sure how he will convince people to let him be king, but he says he and some of his friends in the Pentagon are planning ways to make it easier. I hope they succeed. Queen Laura sounds so elegant!
Nitey nite, diary."
(Any resemblance between this humor piece and reality is entirely likely but purely coincidental)
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Comments (3 of 3)
Jump To Comment: 1 2 3you wil find that the treaties establishing the independence and legal status of the U.S.A. were negotiated with him and his government.
and the first emperor was Emperor Norton.
C/P:
Born in London in 1819, Joshua Norton built up a fortune in South Africa and San Francisco by dealing in foodstuffs and property. In 1853, he saw his chance to "make it big" by cornering the rice market in San Francisco. Unfortunately, shortly after, several ships laden with rice arrived, glutting the market. Prices tumbled, Norton lost everything and had to file for bankruptcy.
In 1857, he announced to some friends that he was Norton I, Emperor of California. In 1859, he expanded this claim to Emperor of All the United States. He made a proclamation, which the San Francisco Bulletin published without editorial comment.
"At the pre-emptory request and desire of a large majority of the United States I, Joshua A Norton, declare and proclaim myself Emperor of the US and in virtue of the authority thereby in me vested, do hereby order and direct the representatives of the different States of the Union to assemble in Musical Hall, of this city, on the last day of February next, then and there to make such alteration in the existing laws of the Union as may ameliorate the evils under which the country is labouring, and thereby cause confidence to exist, both at home and abroad, in our stability and integrity.
Norton I, Emperor of the United States, 17 September 1859"
At the beginning of his reign, the burning issue was the country's move towards civil war. Norton felt that the US needed a strong head of state, and that the presidency could not achieve this. Reluctantly, he dissolved the Republic, abolished Congress and the Presidency, and announced that, henceforth, he would rule personally.
When the civil war broke out, he summoned both Lincoln and Davis to his presence, and issued a decree ordering hostilities to cease. These orders were as effective as his previous ones, but this did not seem to worry him.
His Imperial Palace was a small room in a lodging house, and the 50 cents-a-night charge was paid by the people of San Francisco. When his wardrobe grew shabby, he issued another decree:
"Know that we, Norton the First, have divers complaints from our liege subjects that our Imperial wardrobe is a national disgrace."
The next day, the city council voted funds for new clothes to be supplied by the city's leading tailors.
Norton's scrip, homemade 25 and 50 cent notes, was accepted as currency; he had free passes to the theatres, and upon his entrance the audience always dutifully rose to its feet.
Once, a river boat captain ordered Norton off his boat for failing to pay a fare. In retaliation, Norton ordered the US navy to blockade the company's vessels. The board of directors quickly gave him an apology and a free lifetime pass.
Norton occasionally went to the State capital at Sacramento, to observe the legislature. Once, the Assembly was deadlocked over a particular appointment. Norton then spoke favourably of both candidates, but suggested they appoint the one he knew personally. The legislators complied with the request.
Robert Louis Stevenson admired the people of San Francisco for looking after this "harmless madman". Norton brought colour to the city and, as a judge remarked when rebuking a policeman who arrested Norton for lunacy, he had:
"Shed no blood, robbed no one, and despoiled no country, which is more than can be said for most fellows in the King line."
C/P source:http://www.flin.demon.co.uk/althist/norton.htm#here
$$$$$$$$$$$$
for a photo of Emperor Norton
go see the link.
ZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.....
That leftwing/anarcho/lesbian-vegan-wimmin/treehugging/protestors have are utterly humourless.
If this is what passes for humour with you people it's no wonder you have to smoke marijuana to get a giggle.