The Sunday Papers.

international | miscellaneous | opinion/analysis Sunday May 09, 2004 15:00 by iosaf the ipsiphi

"We are now in the Driving Seat fumbling with the wires trying to get a spark"

Big issue today.
Help the 246,000,000 children under 14 years of age who daily compete with the workers of Ireland who can't go protesting
to earn less than an average of 40cents.
Eurocents at that!

Barcelona Forum 2004 has been declared open, and now we all over have the God Given Right blessèd by the King of Spain to tell you all how to sort out your problems.
As long as we don't spoil his son's wedding, there's cake for everyone, except the protesters who take time off work over here, and don't know how Universal Dialogue is supposed to be done.

from the Atlantic to the Urinal is Europe's Goal. From Cyprus to Kashmir is the goal implied in these flags. "iraq-ireland-israel" (alphabetically ordered we are piggie in the middle)

So I thought to tell you about lots of places and lots of people today and what's going on with them.

Europe.
Europe is next to Russia.
Russia is next to Chechnya which is next to Turkey. Turkey is just up from Israel which is just across from Cyprus. This used to cause worry till earlier this week, we erased Cyprus from the EU Welcome Postage Stamp so as to try and hide the stupidity of Bertie's enlargement agenda. There have so far been no indications that anyone in the "Chechnya/Caucus/Armenia/Kurdistan/ Iraq/Isreal/Iran/Turkey corner of the world has noticed. This is because they are very busy.

The President of Chechnya has been killed.
Akhmad Kadyrov and at least three others died today in an explosion at Grozny's Dynamo stadium, according to Russian officials. Forty-four people were reported wounded at the stadium

They were there to mark the end of the "Great Patriotic War" which is what former Soviets call WW2 when the NAZI empire in the east was broken.

Since the beginning of 2004 more than 30 "top level ministers" in the area stretching from the Balkans to the Caucus have died.
Some by being bombed, some by catching planes that crashes, one who's car just crashed, and another who rather more 1950s style just fell out a window.

They have such terrible luck don't they?

South America:-

Mexico and Cuba are having a tiff.
Mexico is ruled by Mr Fox, who is an Oil Billionaire, and lives just over the border from Mr Bush in Texas. Mr Bush is an Oil Billionaire as well. They both get along really well, Mr Bush speaks Spanish, and Mr Fox speaks English. And they use the same vocabulary. They both also worship Bulls, and have agreed over fifteen (you check I'm underestimating) cross border initiatives on oil exploration, handling immigrants, setting up a nature reserve which has been condemned for being an eco-disaster, oil exploration, pretty bull exchange, and oil exploration.

Mr Fox greeted the new Spanish Regime, "The Cake for everyone no-one but no-one is spoiling the wedding, and they're both as lefty as royal couples can get" Regime, by promising to undo corruption.
Corruption is another thing Mr Bush and Mr Fox have agreed to do together.
they do it very well.

Anyway, Mr Fox doesn't have the benefit of a worldfamed viagra toting 70+yr old Hawk in his cabinet, and so without the Rumsfeld factor, has had to be more traditional to shore up support for the agreements. (you remember, Oil, Oil, Oil, Corruption and Bull worship).
So he's attacked Cuba, so far it's only diplomatical and economical but it it's the start of something. Mexico is a house divided, and the home to the Chiapas community. Cuba is where buena vista social club came from, and where Fidel Castro is. JFK did Cuba when Krushchev did Turkey, or was it the other way round?

Turkey:-
Oh very bad, people are very upset, and they're not European Union members yet.
A boat has been prevented leaving Brazil by Greenpeace on route for Turkey. The crew were attempting to mix GM and normal grain.
the USA in the last 4 years, put extreme pressure on the states of South America and the Vatican to adopt genetically modified food.
This is because Bush, Fox and Rumsfeld and Ltd.Co. want to feed the poor, raise up the meek and GM food is the best way to do it.

Iran:-
Oh very bad, the airport is closed again.
The airport closes as often as Knock. But not due to fog or immaculate intervention, no airplanes into and out of Iran have a nasty habit of crashing. Through the majority of the last four years, (taken at random as a neat sort of number and for no other reason) more than ten planes carrying government ministers or aviation /military advisors either into or out of Tehran have crashed.
This is probably the dodgy russian planes they still fly, and naturally has nothing to do with their regime, or their Oil. Iran has a regime which is termed an "islamic republic" but it's a different type of Islam to the Islam closer to home. Most young female Turks I have spoken to often say things like "without attaturk we would be like Iran". Most young male Turks I've spoken to say things like "without Syria we would be like Iran".
This is one of the reasons, I never wrote about Cyprus. And did my best to tell that big muppet and little rascal Bertie not to go near it with a barge pole.

Basra:-
Oh things are very bad.

Karachi:-
In Pakistan, the "far east of asian continental Islam". Oh things are very bad. Last Friday 14 people (the usual figure) died when a mosque was bombed. Mosques are where muslims pray and meet. They are rather like Churches except they're shaped differently and no one wears shoes. Well anyway the young pakistani men instead of playing fine cricket like thier cousins in the immigrant communities of the UK, Ireland and Spain, have been very angry instead. And in the last hours have angrily burnt cars and a police station and by now will have of course, forgotten about it and moved on to a new and trusting relationship with not only their own military regime but it's US backers.

Afhganistan:- This is where Ossama lives.
Ossama is very famous, I told you the Jordanians secret service told us all about OSsama in the beginning in 1995, the same week Ossama (who obviously reads my sunday papers) decided to bomb the Jordanian secret service. So This week, I have to be very clear.

Ossama if you're reading.
IT's not funny anymore.
You have no sense of humour,
The American is not capable of understanding you, and your "jihad" is misplaced.

Anyway, this week several U.S. marines were shot at in Afhganistan, whilst searching for the Taliban, who the US installed to replace the Soviet puppet regime. The ISAF force which is a coalition of UN military, police and inteligence forces which does it's best to keep some type of "order" in this part of the world, and works alongside the US Marines, who have to be there, because it says so in the US constitution.
(article post HFK :- called the "pax americana clause : uncle sam has to have soldiers everywhere")
ISAF has not indicated that this years order will be any smaller than last years. Opium as we know can be stored for almost three years so the Global Heroin market can at worst suffer two year loss of "the Order" and not see the cities and prisons of the West (where we live) descend into barbarity in less than a week due to suspension of the properly taxed and accountable and completely above board global Narcotic Production Base.

Computer News.
It appears there are still some things the FBI and the CIA can agree on. They agreed that the author of the Sassar virus was a russian. OF course he wasn't, he was a german, and 18 years old at that. His little worm targetted microsoft systems and meant that most of us got attachments and bounces of email addresses over the last week. The route the virus took was interesting, it went out east first, to happy Russia and then back through the Baltics taking particular interest in one of Finland's main banks. It then went through the offices of easyFM104, and the Irish Taoiseach before going through a Barcelona internet café and on to someone called bozavine.
Itchy and Scratchy no?
quite.
rashful.


maps and info on Central & South America :-
http://www.ciepac.org/maps/categoryindex.htm



the varied homeland chickens that might yet come home to roost before we see the end of the Bush thing include America's loudest preacher, Louis Farrakan.
He's joined the prop/counter prop battle for voters of America.
http://www.indymedia.no/otherpress/display/110/index.php (for link to video)
Farrakan believes (put very simply) that all blue eyed people are descended from an antedeluvian (pre the Great Flood of Noah) genetic experiment by an evil scientist. He argues the creation of a seperate islamic afro-american state, through his organisation "Nation of Islam". His recipe is very volatile and feeds on elements of the very problematic Puritan work ethic as enshrined in US Culture and northern afro-americans, with a radical islam which followed Malcolm X. It is though a rejection of the Marcus Garvey Liberian project. Farrakan seeks his seperate state on homeland US soil. Louis Farrakan quite famously convened the "one million man" march on Washington. Which summoned one million discontented afro-american males to Washington.
Well, 70% of Washington city is afro-american, and it's a big city. So Farrakan's assembly could not have been argued to have been very representative of Black American opinion, but the Goebbel's trick seemed to work somewhere in Dixie's twisted mind.
THe usual arguments were had about how many people had actually turned up. And the mathematical problem was handed to the very famous Farouk El-Baz Oh you say, El-Baz old Farouk, is he still doing the rounds?

oh yes, he's the remote sensing dude of Egypt who helped put the Saudi prince in Space isn't he?
And I'd say yes, he is.
Read his CV:-
http://www.bu.edu/remotesensing/Faculty/El-Baz/FEBcv.htm
Anyway old Farouk is good at counting grains of sand on the beach. He oversees the programs which tell geological strata type at a distance, so if there's oil under the sand of a desert be it on Earth or Mars, and he decided using fractal anaylsis tools that Farrakan hadn't indeed mobilised one million men.


The furore over torture of iraqi prisoners by soldiers continues. Bush will in a week seem capable of placing a distance between himself and viagra boy Rumsfeld and all the permed twni set non smoking stepford wives will concur that the pictures do not represent any possible America nice Mr Dubya would know.
It would be a good time for Hilary and Ltd. Co. to do her million woman thing.... Or would it?
Aha there's is the US election thing.

As everyone knows, I opted for Wesley Clark.
I thought the only way to redeem the US at that time (2003 when Deputy "our" Joe Higgins was banged up by Bertie in Mountjoy - he may be a trot but he's our trot!) was the selection of a general.
ON the priniciples that he's a general, the general who 5 years ago was given to the task of fucking up our eastern frontiers and beighbours by Clinton.

And he's not a billionaire and not into bull worship and just into being a soldier which might be helpful now that Europe is so effete and decadent and hippy punky yellow bellied and America (our ally and protector) is so up to it's more fragile than it realises neck, in a war zone that stretches from the Balkans to Kashmir.
Wesley spoke at length about treatment of prisoners on his radio program last night.
He doesn't do music. Nor do you get what's on your local area", it's just aarf aaarf aaaarf, our boys, bring 'em home. sort of stuff.


Anyway Bertie is going with Kerry.
and burying the Devil.
and of course the divil will rise again.
which will be a few years down the line,
in the Babalon End Time War Game.
watch out for that.

Israel:-
& Palestine:-

I really wish Edward Said had lived. I really wish loads had lived. Likud is splitting. The House of Isreal, Europe's Son, is divided.
All it's parties, it's communities, it's institutions. the rejection by Likud of Sharon's plans to clear Gaza of settlers, might prompt serious conflict within not only his own party but with all the range of Palestinian and Arabic groups. The pressure is mounting and the forthcoming Sharon & Bush summit to be held close to the Bush & Burlsucunti gig has this morning been cancelled.
Liberal and non zionist members of the European Jewish family needless to say are very worried about the defusing of a bomb at a French synagogue last night. Synagogues are like Mosques in that they are places people meet and pray, but they're shaped differently.
Lots of the European Jewish family say things to me like "why can't the Palestinians just not be in the home as well?", and "who the hell told us we could go back to our land and built a ghetto instead", and
this is a long one
(my jewish friends make long sentances)

"I don't want to Israel to be the capital of an implied pan-arabic economic and military zone serving the primary energy and security concerns of the USA in the mid XXI century and quite as result clashing with the EU project of establishing a pan-arabic economic zone serving the primary energy and security concerns of the EU in the mid XXI century with Turkey as it's capital."

I tell them not to worry about a thing, most people think they're Palestinian anyway because they look quite similar to be honest.

THey then say things like
"well then you look British"
Whereupon I kick them in the shins, because you've go to be stern, or else people take the piss.

http://www.lemonde.fr/web/article/0,1-0@2-3218,36-364167,0.html

Remember that.

You've got to be stern.
Or else people take the piss.
And then you'd be piss-less.


maps and info on Central & South America :-
http://www.ciepac.org/maps/categoryindex.htm
maps worldwide:-
http://linkbonny.com/world-maps.htm